EDUCATION (hetero)SEXUAL FOR FAMILIES According to Science
Gender Identity: 1. family
Few are the people to know that the child-parent relationship should take efforts in the correct development of the psychological sexuation (gender identity and sexual orientation) and spread is this false idea that sexuality is an inborn quality one should sit back and watch evolving on its own.
Sexuation takes form by the interrelation between a male or female body, and the environment in which a person evolves and grows.
The relationship between body and mind is bidirectional and interdependent: a body cannot exist without a mind, and a there cannot be a mind that operates careless of the body.
The fulfillment of one’s own psychological sexuation is bought about by the achievement of a coherent identity with the body, becoming a Man (if male) or a Woman (if female), and oriented in the physical and psychological procreation (continuity).
When a baby is born his brain is ready to develop, but he needs the correct stimuli from the environment in order to become activated.
By a way of example: if we get an olive seed (power) and we harvest the seed to create a beautiful plant (action) many factors are necessary (nature: quality of the ground, light, air and humidity). Otherwise, there will be barriers in the natural development of the plant that allows us to have olive oil and, in part, seeds for more plants.
The possibility is there, but the environment is not allowing it to develop and achieve its goals.
To achieve his full potential and become happy, a kid needs to feel loved, and only then he can become like the seed that grows.
The 5 senses of the body are the channels that a kid uses to get in contact with the environment. Every function and behavior should be analyzed in a context of genetic usefulness. The kid needs to go in contact with reality and identify it, avoiding distortions and social lies that could lead to confusion.
It is though his family that a kid gradually discovers his own identity and that of the world around him. Every action taken on a kid, every gesture, every word, every personal feeling of the parents (that a kid can usually feel even if not openly expressed) is identified and stored in his brain.
The brain develops based on the kind of environment that sends it information. This information then shapes the brain itself. Sadly, many of the information that a kid receives are chaotic, bothering, and conflictual, and limit the cooperation between the two hemispheres of his brain.
They are influenced by all those data that get memorized, very often unknowingly and passively, without any possibility for identification, comprehension, evaluation and eventually rejection. A kid is bombarded by this kind of data, coming from family conflicts or to too often misleading and morally harmful television infomercials. These data have a dissociative effect on the kid, that leads to anxiety, fear and changes in perceptions.
Lack of balance in a family unit can lead to a lifetime of ruin for the kids. They are like drops of water digging a solid rock. In a relationship where the mother is perceived as weak and lacking courage, while the father is brutal and lacking emotions, a kid could have an hard time developing a strong psychological sexuation (Jovine and Scilligo 2001). The other is the case of a father that lacks moral support, and an authoritative mother.
When in a mother’s arguments the father is always absent, this is perceived by a kid as a status of non-existence. In this case, there may be a risk that the kid creates an association with the gender of one parent. A mother that gives exclusive love to a kid, can inhibit his development. Love without balance is not love.
Often a kid’s gender is not well accepted by the parents. Because of local traditions or personal motivation, there may be more welcoming to males rather than females, or vice versa. This of course can alter the child-parent relationship, and it can also have a negative impact on his psychological sexuation. Because of this, parents that are always happy about the son’s or daughter’s gender and make complements about his character, will greatly support his identity. On the opposite, having a parent that always desires a child of the opposite gender, will inhibit his psychological sexuation.
The dad has two necessary attributes, one of love and one of strength: the kid needs a dad that has both of these qualities. Being good isn’t enough, he also needs to assume an authoritative position. Fathers at times commit the mistake of putting full attention on the son that plays sports and has great school grades, and leaving the less outgoing and most sensitive child to the full mother’s attentions.
In a mother, the love of herself should include the love of the husband. Accepting his limits, she should seek for his allowance, giving a positive imprinting of the sovereignty of masculinity on the kids. The mother that always criticizes her husband, that puts herself in a position of power and authority, has a negative impact on the kid’s development.
There is also a physical difference between the hug of a father and the hug of a mother that a child should be able to experience.
The presence of both parents, mother and father, plays a major role in the psychological and social development of the child. It creates the foundations of the person’s identity and it promotes the relationships. The presence of a strong relationship between father and mothers brings safety, healing and affection, and at the same time establishes a sense of justice, truth and equity in a family unit.
Gender Identity: 2. Society of Education
In the last ten years we saw the raising of the false ideology according to which the behavioral and physical differences between a man and a woman should not play a unique role in the society. Extremists of this ideology may even say there is no difference at all between the two genders. It is certainly a beautiful fact that in modern society there are men and women taking part in all kinds of professions, but this should not be a pretext to deny differences.
The educational models tend to focus on sexual proximity: “It is better for girls and boys to spend a lot of time together, so that they can learn how to understand and comprehend each other’s characters”. They also propose the same activities and stimuli: “It is better to use the same toys, the same dresses, and the same language; take the same classes, and play the same games during free time”.
There is also the tendency to inhibit the unique characteristics of both genders.
For various reasons, some guys tend to develop a defensive attitude with those of his own gender. They feel inadequate and they find comfort with those of the opposite sex by playing a socializing with them. At the same time, they develop a sense of not belonging with the group of the same gender, admiring them from an external perspective but never belonging to the group. These guys tend to be victims of school bullying, and have a fragile character. They should be helped. Be part of the group of his own gender is a necessity, just as it is socializing with those of the opposite sex. Both of these things are important.
Schools should create more activities in which guys and girls can socialize and learn in a separate environment, to have the opportunity to resolve uncertainties rising from a lack of interrelation with those of the same gender. Identifying the two genders as one and asserting there is no difference between one another, puts in risk the whole social construct. The wholeness of the human nature is the grand total of the differences that can be found in feminine and masculine gender.
Psychological sexuation is not an inborn quality, and neither is it something that culminates after the first years of existence. It needs continuous analysis and needs to be fueled by relationships characterized by love and truth. Doing the opposite can be cause of a sexual deviance striking suddenly and unexpectedly. Love and truth do not have a “social definition”, they are felt in the experience.
It should be the deed of every educational society to establish a system that stimulates and valorizes both feminine and masculine attitudes, without rejecting the obvious differences and in full respect of both parties.
Societies should also remove, by the dissemination of correct data, a lot of popular beliefs that do not fit the scientific agreement. Information can shape our perception of reality, but unfortunately so does false information. Knowing the characteristics of information should put us in a position of great responsibility, and prevent us from spreading junk science. The real danger comes from what we believe to be real, but it’s not. There is nothing in the brain and in the various forms of expression of a human being that is not explicable with quantum physics in the form of energy / matter / information. We become what we think, and our brain transforms accordingly. But if we don’t want to think at all, then we give away responsibility to think to someone else, and we become a messenger of the system, or the cool of moment.
prof. Michele Trimarchi presidente dell’ISN, scienziato di fama mondiale fondatore della Neuropsicofisiologia.
Prof. Claudio Risé scrittore, giornalista, docente universitario e psicoterapeuta
Prof. Massimo Gandolfini, Neurochirurgo, direttore del Dipartimento Neuroscienze Brescia.
Dr. Chiara Atzori, Dirigente medico specialista in Malattie Infettive
Dr. Emidio Tribulato Neuropsichiatra e psicologo.
Prof. Giancarlo Ricci Esperto in Psicologia dell’Età Evolutiva
It is scientifically proven to be an emotion that starts from the emotional portion of the brain, it is not inborn and no matter how established and rooted in our nature, it can always be influenced by a multitude of factors, and it can change.
Sexual orientation is a successor of gender identity, and very often the same factors that played in the gender identification are also the same factors that affect sexual orientation. The act of sex, the relationships, the mass media, the uncertainties about one’s own masculinity or femininity, the past trauma, pornography, the temperament of a person’s character, the social attitude and the social ideologies, all of these are factors that can greatly influence a person’s sexual orientation.
Sex drive is an inborn factor, but the characteristics and the nature of this urge is not inborn. It is the brain to decide if a stimulus should be exciting or not, based on the points of reference that a person has acquired in memories, according to the psychoanalytical theory. The exterior gives meaning to an interior significance.
The various labels like “gay”, “bisexual”, “heterosexual”, “pedophile”, “zoophile” and so on, do not correspond to reality. It is not the individual, but his sexual and emotional feelings (scientifically speaking) developed during the years and based on a multitude of factors. At this point, there should be as many labels as the number of people living on the planet, since nobody has the same exact taste and desires of another person. These should also be interchangeable labels, because everything can change in a lifetime and, in nature, nothing stays the same. The sexual orientations particularly during the teen years, as shows by many statistics worldwide, are not stable and can change direction on their own, with the acquiring of more self-security and under the influence of other emotions like fear and romantic love. They can take the form of many emotions like sexual jealousy or emotional dissatisfaction. They can be rooted undesired sexual emotions caused by obsessive masturbation, pornography, and social beliefs.
There are 2 name category to give to sexual emotions, those of “sexual orientation” and those of “paraphilia”. This leads people to believe that there are great differences between these two categories, such as genetic differences, or that of the inborn and not inborn, or that one category is more right than another. None of this is true in scientific facts. Both of these categories only describe different sexual emotions. The word “sexual orientation” has nothing to do with natural or inborn, not even the meaning of the word paraphilia (from Greek para παρά = “by”, “near”, “beyond” and philia φιλία = “love”, “affinity”) has anything to do with a pathological condition. So the difference between one category and another is just rooted into social ignorance, and it makes the life of politicians a little easier. In truth, nothing changes. To understand which sexual emotion should be considered natural, or just be socially accepted even if not natural, and even if not accepted by society, there needs to be a criterion of evaluation based on logic, such as the goal of sexuality, the goal and the function of the single body organs and the physical and psychological maturity for sexual intercourse.
The fact that different sexual orientation exist, doesn’t mean that they should all be considered natural, or benevolent or that they should be accepted by society. Even heterosexual emotions can be bound to other emotional states or past traumas, and they can manifest pathologically in an individual not allowing him to express his full potential. The therapeutic intervention and the acquisition of true data can free and help a person establish more balance in his emotional state.
To better understand this, it is key to know the basic function of the mind and the brain, and to understand the scientific definition of emotion and how they develop, what is chemistry of emotion and the dopaminergic system, a few notion of quantum physics and biology. All of this can help a person get rid of unwanted sexual emotions.
Antonio Imbasciati Professore Ordinario di Psicologia Clinica e Direttore dell’Istituto di Psicologia della Facoltà di Medicina e Chirurgia dell’Università degli Studi di Brescia.
Prof. Tania Coelho dos Santos psicoanalista, membro della Ecole de la Cause freudienne, la Scuola Brasiliana di Psicoanalisi e dell’Associazione Mondiale di Psicoanalisi
Prof. Serge Stoleru psichiatra
Prof. Stéphane Clerget psichiatra adolescenti
Prof. Lisa Diamond psicologia sociale gender studies c/o University of Utah
Pornography, chemistry of the emotions (dopamine) and masturbation
A few years ago, scientists believed our brains where fixed, and that all circuits were formed and perfect right after the first years. Now we know this not to be true, and that the brain has a quality called “neuroplasticity”. Not only can it change, but it can modify its structure in response to repeated experiences. Pornography is scientifically proven to alter the sexual desires of the users, by triggering new connections between the various neurons of the brain.
The dopaminergic system gets stimulated during masturbation, and can cause addiction even of those undesired sexual emotions, making a person’s change much more difficult to accomplish.
The dopaminergic system has an important easing function in behavior.
The dopaminergic circuits are responsible to control fundamental behavioral and emotional functions, such as getting close to a set target, motivation, attention, apprehension and gratification. Masturbation produces an increase in the dopaminergic tone, and it results in an enforcement of the objects of desire during masturbation.
The dopaminergic system seems to play an important role even on the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
All dependencies cause «definite neuroplasticity cerebral differences». Addiction to pornography included:
In the plastic change, dopamine is also involved. The same dopamine that stimulates us, is responsible of the creation of new neural connections. Dopamine is release from sexual arousal, increase sexual desire in both genders, and activates the centers of pleasure. This is how pornography gains an addictive property.
People watching pornography are doing it in order to receive dopamine, dose after dose, just like rats pushing a button. While they don’t realize it, they are involved in an activity that will change the substrata of their brain, creating new connections between neurons. All those stimuli activate the centers of pleasure and make plastic changes possible. Pornographic scenes can be remembered even after being in front of the computer, or while having actual sexual intercourse with a partner, giving it even more strength and power.
Every time they advert sexual arousal, or they have an orgasm through masturbation, they receive a dose of dopamine – the reward neurotransmitter – that consolidates the multiple connections created during the “pornography session”.
This is how pornography can create a serious form of addiction, that could be similar to that of heroin or crack, and starts the assault on the brain receptors, easing the insensitivity during real physical relationships.
To prove that masturbation is not a requirement of nature nor an almost inevitable behavior, but a stage that can be overcome, it is important to dispel a very common prejudice, that especially in males, there is an uncontrollable sexual need. In other words, it is often argued that the male has to exercise a certain genital activity (masturbation or intercourse with a woman) because his body would form sperm in amounts higher than normal that would need to be expelled, otherwise causing discomfort.
It is a real prejudice that must be debunked for the good of all and for the balanced development of the individual (and of many women who believe it!).
We find help in the neurological structure of sexuality.
Gonads do not act independently but under the direction of the pituitary gland through the intervention of hormones. This is why it has been said that the first sexual organ is the brain. So if the physiological trend is left free to follow its normal procedures governed by the pituitary gland, everything works according to nature. This means that it is not necessary to implement extrinsic interventions. Everything is harmonized by nature which, in its rationality, acts in a normal and regular way. The "need", a process that requires a forced external intervention to replace or supplement what nature has not made, does not exist. To avoid "ailments" nature itself has provided the maintenance of balance with the phenomenon of nocturnal emissions.
Essentially sperm is not formed in excessive amounts; that would be irrational and it would betray the rational character of sexuality. Medicine teaches that the overabundance of semen produced is not the result of an inevitable physiological process but the consequence of a series of stimuli. Gonads produce sperm in a constant minimal amount.
According to our latest knowledge, if we want to draw a comparison of the male gonad glands, we should compare them to those types of glands, such as salivary, gastric, lacrimal,... which work constantly at an idle speed and that under appropriate specific stimulus sharply raise the functional pattern with real secretion crises... Now we understand how scientific observation has reversed the terms of the erroneous prejudice: there is not a "build-up" which creates the need", but sexual stimulation that creates the build-up.
The same goes for arousal: it is a phenomenon that does not depend on the will. But the will can open the way for the phenomenon to be produced by seeking mental or sensory images capable of arousing or provoking the reaction with a mechanical stimulation of the genital skin.
This intervention, balancing or not of the will, indicates that continence is possible: there are no impulses that man cannot control and contain. All this, however, requires a human maturity that does not come spontaneously, but you only gain with difficulty in a certain space of time. Because if the will has been accustomed to always give in to something it likes, it is logical that it will continue to give in to this area. You cannot expect an individual to always say yes and then in this case to be able to say no.
The will must be exercised in controlling and developing an ability to also reject something in itself indifferent from the ethical point of view; it will serve as training. When it's time to say no, the will is already trained and not taken by surprise.
Sexuality does not require continence to be oppressed, destroyed, sacrificed, but to be better understood and lived in the totality of its richness and the joyfulness of its contents. In any case it would really be a bad thing to sexually approach another person to satisfy a physiological need. At that moment the other person is profaned and reduced to an object.
Principi di biologia e genetica del comportamento (riassunto) di Paola Alessandra Consoli.
dottor Norman Doidge – neurologo della Columbia University
dottor Gary Lynch, neuroscienziato della University of California di Irvine
dottor Jeffrey Satinover, Psychiatra e docente della Princeton University
V. MATTIOLI, The difficult sexuality, pg. 77-104
Sexual Experimenting is not Necessary and it Can Be Dangerous
Experimenting to understand one’s own sexual orientation has no logical basis. It is not the person to belong to his sexual emotions, but the emotions to belong to the person. With experimentation and pornography, the sexual and romantic emotions can be altered in a more permanent way, even when they are not desired and only the result of uncertainty, sexual jealousy or have other meanings that should be researched on an individual basis.
Society invites the young generation to multiple sexual experimentation, with the false hope that through these increasingly “creative” experiences, the person can try find many types of pleasures. Unfortunately, thought sexual experimentation and the addictive dopaminergic system, types of sexuality that can be harmful to the individual without an affective accompaniment can become desirable. When the heart (figuratively) doesn’t play a role, the relationship becomes empty and lacking taste. Perversion take the place of real love, and leads to a very fast form of pleasure, but will in the end lead to dissatisfaction (even on those who claim not to have a conscience). The result of experimentation is that it often leads to unhappiness. Heterosexuality is not inborn, and experimentation can alter the heterosexual emotions or establish undesired sexual impulses. Even pornography leads to an alteration of the sexual orientation. A person is no longer attracted by real beings, but images on a screen. To exit this addiction and rediscover the heterosexual emotions, there can be the same level of difficulty found in those who change from two different sexual emotions. In this case the change consists of going from being “video-sexual” to being again heterosexual. It can be a very difficult step, but absolutely feasible. During sexual experimentation, the level of “desirable” doesn’t increase, it simply moves. The “norm” does not longer excite, and this can mean trouble to the person, not to mention all the sorts of illnesses that can arise. The youth that wants to be free both emotionally and sexually, should learn and study the truth, and not experimenting and surfing pornographic websites.
Premature Ejaculation and Vaginal Orgasm
The “issue” of premature ejaculation was made up a decade ago, when experts in sexuality decided that man had a moral obligation to bring a woman to experience vaginal orgasms during a full physical experience. Here something is considered “normal” but doesn’t have any scientific basis: the fact that a woman can actually experience an orgasm. A recent study seems to confirm that vaginal organism is nothing but a myth that should be exposed. Just like the so-called “G Spot”, other terms being used when referring to orgasm do not exist or are not correct. Experts of sexual medicine, sexologists and psychologists should disseminate biologically founded facts about vaginal orgasm, instead of mere personal opinions and theories. Furthermore, women are not excluded from sexual dysfunctions caused by believing in something that doesn’t exist.
To put light on the issue is a recent review published on the scientific publication Clinical Anatomy Magazine, where a team of researchers such as Dr. Vincenzo Puppo from the Italian Sexology Center (CIS) and Dr. Giulia Puppo from the Department of Biology of Florence University, explain that the correct terms to use are: male orgasm and feminine orgasm.
The vagina, researchers explain, has no anatomic relationship with the clitoris. The clitoral complex or Clitourethrovaginal (CUV) complex has not embryological, anatomic or physiological support. The organ responsible for the orgasm, the clitoris, is an external organ. It is composed by the gland and the body (or free section), and from the roots, which are bound with the bottom labia minora. In other words, the publications made in the last decade have no scientific basis.
Emotions and Feelings According to Science.
The emotions (including those related to sex) form at the intersection of mind and body, working together in the present time environment. The body acts as a medium between the brain and the external environment. It doesn’t just map the mood of the multiple body’s organs, the brain can also transform and stimulate those that didn’t yet happen. The brain and the body then can effect one another.
Images of past and present events are those that trigger emotions.
Depending on the feeling a person is experiencing, different physical events will take place through to the central nervous system, such as sweating, pallor, muscular contractions, increased heart beats, and so on… even sexual emotions, like any other emotion, can have somatic effects. One of these is erection for men. People mistakenly think that erection is the cause of emotions and feelings, but from a scientific perspective it is the exact opposite, it is the emotion itself to have somatic effects. Comparatively, it isn’t the reddening of the cheeks to provoke a feeling of shyness, but the other way around. There is no “erotic” situation, but it is in the eye of the beholder, and it depends on how he read it based on his emotional life experience.
These are the physiological mechanisms that make us aware we felt a specific emotion, by influencing our rational decisions, based on the significance that we or society gave (unfortunately even lies). Some emotions can then give an untruthful and ideological dimension to our mind and conscience.
The term “feeling” refers to something interior and personal, it is a psychological successor of changes happening in the brain and body, for which we use the term emotion.
Feelings are the conscious counterparts of physical change, brought about by emotions.
The emotion of romantic love and the sexual emotion are two different kinds of emotions, and in some case they can both be seen in the same individual. In most people these two emotions supply one another.
Another important aspect we should take in consideration is the chemistry of emotion. There are about 60 chemical substances produced by our brain depending on the kind of emotions one is experiencing, of which science proved the neuro-transmitting function to a synaptic level. The neurotransmitters can carry information though microscopic electric discharges, just like a flow of energy, traveling at an incredible speed, and reaching the whole body. If these substances get overly produced, they can cause illnesses and addiction. This is the reason why, when we can’t control emotions, we can even get bodily injuries.
Everyone can change emotions during his lifetime, including those related to sex, and neuroplasticity is the confirmation of this fact. Neuroplasticity as a whole, does not bring positive news only. That part of sexuality that could bind with love and create happiness, can also bind with other elements like emotional needs, addiction, past trauma, etc... and in so doing create a dangerous unbalance for self, and in a few cases even for other people. The environment and our life experiences can change our brain’s structure. Being continuously exposed to seduction and aggressive behavior can associate the two emotions. Through different forms of psychotherapy based on truth information, it is possible to re-establish a separation between the two functions. This could be easy or not.
Everyone is able to learn and unlearn. No therapist can change the emotions of a person that doesn’t actively participate and besides, it is never the therapist to do the change but his patient that by gaining correct information and making them his own, can achieve a new understanding. Similarly, no therapist should deny treatment to someone that has a strong desire to change from sexual emotions that he considers undesirable. The specific characteristics and manifestations of every single emotion are not inborn (not even those pertaining to sex). They reside in the human psyche. Behavior is a genetic factor that contributed with the male/female body to give emotions a specific characteristic. Environmental factors (family, society, friend, past trauma, pornography, and popular beliefs, etc..) also contributed to give emotions a specific characteristic. Only through a precise psychological research is it then possible to isolate the causes of undesired emotions and to free a person from their negative effects. Amongst the various kinds of psychology, it is advisable to include quantum psychology (a scientific approach to multiple disciplines including biology, neuroscience, quantum physics and philosophy). A myriad of variegated data can have a positive effect on the brain and stimulate the creation of more neural connections and realities.
There are subjects signed by neglect, unmoral sexual conduct of parents, and incompetence to answer to the needs of the kids in a constant and comprehensive manner. In these situations, one can find an environment that doesn’t enable a kid to follow and achieve his sexual maturity. The concept of trauma can be expanded to include not only abuses and other events that could be stressful for the kid (for example surgery) but also emotional trauma that lie between the kid and his parents. To find oneself in such an emotionally deprived environment, where the kid cannot find emotional comfort, could lead to a fantasy world of self-stimulation: if the parents do not realize what is happening, or even support the behavior knowingly or unknowingly, the development of a sexual perversion is a given. Erotic perversion can replace a lack of moral support.
De Masi, F. (2008). Trauma ed erotizzazione del trauma nella perversione
Dr. Antonio Damasio Il sé viene alla mente. La costruzione del cervello cosciente
Prof. Antonio Imbasciati, Dr. Chiara Buizza - L’emozione sessuale Psicoanalisi e neuro psicofisiologia di un’emozione negata
Dr Candace Pert, neuroscienziata e psicofarmacologa - Molecole di Emozioni